smalllstufff (smalllstufff) wrote in stopbingeating,
smalllstufff
smalllstufff
stopbingeating

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Another newbie

Hello ladies [[and gentlemen, if there are any]]! I just joined live journal and this community to find support for my binge eating.

I'm 21 years old, 5'7" and right now I weigh somewhere between 135-140 pounds [[don't have a scale in my house - I'm scared to get one because it would mean actually seeing this number between my feet]]. I am extremely uncomfortable at my weight and constantly self-conscious about the way I look.

I've been binge eating since somewhere in high school. I don't know what point it actually started, but for as long as I remember I have always had a strong desire to have a beautiful, perfect body... which sounds so superficial and typical, I know, but there's no other way to put it. I'm sure many can relate. But adverse to my desires, I constantly needed to have sweets all the time. It became a habit without me even realizing it. Fast forward 5 or 6 years til now... when I realized that I eat things like chocolate, cookie dough, frosting, cake, and the like every single time I felt even the slightest pang of uneasy emotion - basically every single day. I always felt guilty and disgusting after I did it, but that never stopped me from doing the same thing again the next day. I'm lucky that I am still in what's considered the "normal" weight range and BMI - but I AM unhealthy, and I want to eat healthier, lose weight and be happy with my body. My ultimate goal weight is somewhere around 120 pounds.

Today I am very proud of myself - I have not had any sugary foods today whatsoever. I'm hoping to do the same thing again tomorrow. My plan of attack is to try and wien myself off the sugar first BEFORE I try going on a weight loss diet. I think if I tried to do both at the same time right away, it would be too extreme and I would go back to my old ways too easily. I hope to find inspiration, guidance and support here - and hopefully make a new friend who can relate.

Thank you all!
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Hey!

I can reall understand how you feel because right now I am also dealing with the same problem. Everyday I say to myself that tomorrow I really start eating right and healty but then everyday I just binge on chocolate and stuff. And I feel terrible and so disguistingly fat. I am 5'4" and about 105 pound and it is just terrible. I used to have 90 pound and I felt so much better about myself. I want to get control over my calorie intake but I just feel I am not strong enough to do it on my own.

Hang in there and think thin!
Thank you for responding!

Maybe we can stay in touch and help motivate each other. Yesterday was my first day of trying to improve myself, and even though I succeeded in not eating junk yesterday, I am already feeling weak to the cravings today. I want so badly to commit to it, but I'm so scared that just one little thing is going to make me go, "Mmmm... fuck it!" and dive for the chocolate!

I don't think I can do it on my own either.
It would be great to stay in touch and incourage eachother!

Today I am doing great so far, but the evenings are the worst for me. So I am really hoping I can stay strong and not binge today. I also decided to first stop eating so much sugar and then slowly reduce other foods as well - like dairy and flour.
When I get a craving it helps me to go to this forum and read some encouraging and thispirational posts or to go out for a walk or I just start exercising. But unfortunately it doesnt always work.
Right now I am really desperate to lose weight because I am a ballet dancer and I have a performance in two weeks and I really want to lose at least 4 pounds by that time.

Stay strong and talk to you soon!!!!
Hey girl!

How are you doing with you food intake control?

Yesterday I made it without sugar and I ate normal amounts of food - I had cereals for breakfast and some salad for lunch and just some fruits for dinner. I am really proud of myself. Today I had coffe in the morning and pasta with vegetables for lunch. So far I havent eaten any sugar today and I hope I can stay off also in the evening. This time I am really determined to make it work and to start loosing weight!

I hope all is well with you!

Take care and stay strong!!!!
Heyyy!

I'm so proud of you! It sounds like you are doing really good... do you feel better?

I've been doing pretty good. When I am by myself, I have been pretty good at controlling my mind and thinking before I put something in my mouth. I have only eaten when I am hungry - and haven't turned to food for emotional reasons yet so far. And I have been eating significantly smaller portions. That's a big step for me.

But yesterday, I was hanging out with my boyfriend's little brother... and he bought me a box of my favorite chocolates [[so cute!]]. I sorta couldn't say no to it, but I've been beating myself up ever since. So now I need to work on saying NO to people... and to myself still.

I hope you have a wonderful day!!! <3 xoxo
Hey :)))

I feel really great! I know I have only been in control for two days but I can really feel how I also feel diferent, lighter and not full and stuffed all the time. I did eat a bit much now for dinner - but I ate healty food (some brown rice and fish and a few haselnuts) and I managed to stay off sugar so I guess it isnt so bad. I still wish I could eat even less but I guess I have to take it one step at a time. Tomorrow I will try to just eat breakfast and lunch and no dinner. I sleep so much better when I am not full.

I also have problems when somebody else offers me something. I am just too weak to say no and also to weak to stop at just eating one small piece. I guess that is something we both need to work on :) I bet we can do it!!!!

Good for you that you have managed to only eat when you are hungry! I think that for the past year I have been stuffing myself all the time and I have completely lost the feeling of hunger. I actually cant remember when I last felt hungry (till last night). Did that happen to you also? It feels awsome to be hungry :)

I am going to do some more workout now and burn at least a few calories...

Stay strong :)

Ditto on the haven't-felt-hungry-in-a-long-time. It's definitely a "new" feeling. I'm not sure if I like it yet though... LOL. But it does feel awesome to be in control, and not mindlessly eat just because.

We should come up with a strategy for the next time we are in a social situation involving tempting, unhealthy food... I am determined to beat this! I mean, outside of food, I am pretty good at saying no if I don't want to do something - I just need to channel that energy.

More kudos to you for working out! I can come up with any excuse to not work out... so my excuse this week is that it's too freakin' cold outside and snowing. Normally if I'm motivated enough I'll go running... but not if it's freezing! I was actually thinking about investing in one of those aerobic work-out DVD's - some of them look fun! What kind of exercise do you do?

Today I've only had ice water, green tea, and a banana with peanut butter. I am planning on steaming some asparagus for dinner [[no butter! I can do it!]]
Wow you did great eating so little today! Good for you! How did it go with your dinner? Did you manage to only eat asparagus?

I am a ballet dancer so I usually dance and rehearse 6 to 7 hours a day, so that covers the majority of my workout. But at home I do lots of sit ups and butt exercises and I like this website sparkpeople.com where you can find some short workout videos. I like them a lot you should check it out! You dont really need to buy a DVD because there are lots of workout videos also on youtube and you can pick your favorites and make your own workout mix.

I love hanging out with friends but it is always scarry because I know it will involve food I will not be able to say no to. It is terrible. I would always eat too much and instead of having fun with my friends I would all the time think about how much I have eaten and how fat I look. It happens to you too? I hate this situations and I really dont know what to do!

Stay stron and remember: WE CAN DO IT!!!!
I did end up eating only asparagus. :-D And yesterday, I had oatmeal for breakfast [[no sugar added]] and some yogurt for an afternoon snack. For dinner I had only 3oz. of lean pork roast with a small amount of butternut squash [[no sugar]] and a little bit of rice. And the thing that I am most proud of yesterday is that a friend offered me some M&M's and I didn't take them!!!!

Wow, a ballet dancer! That's amazing... I always thought how cool it would be to take up dance someday. I'll check out that website today...

I am the exact same way with friends. If I overeat, for the rest of the day I will think about how bad I screwed up and how much I wish I had self control. I'll especially feel like shit if someone orders a salad and I get something tasty but fattening... and regret not getting something healthy.



We're both doing good!!!! We're gonna make it!!!
Thank you for being my motivation/accountabila-buddy!

Great job saying no to M&M's!!!!! It looks like we are both doing really great this week. I think that writing to you and reading your posts really helps me be stronger. Whenever I feel like going to the fridge I just think of how embarased I would be writting to you about how I binged again and screwed everything up! So big thanks to you too for being my buddy!!!!!!!

Today I have a really busy day and I just had some cereals for brakfast and then I will not be home till 9 p.m. and I am hoping to be strong enough to go to bed without a dinner.

Have a great day and talk to you soon!!!!!
We are doing good!
Actually, it's kinda cool - the better I do, the more motivated I am to stay on track. Who woulda thought? LOL

Being accountable to my journal, my communities and to you for what I eat every day has definitely kept me away from the binging too! I won't do it because I know I would have to write about it! I've never had to be accountable for what I ate before this... it's a really good discipline. :-)

I hope you have a wonderful day! Busy is good, but I hope you aren't TOO busy!

We. Are. Awesome!!! :-) Keep it up girl!!!